Both nightmares and night terrors can be scary things for children and parents alike, knowing the differences and knowing how you can support your child through them is key to getting sleep back to a great place.
The first important thing to do is to be able to distinguish between a night terror and a nightmare as they are two very different things but in the middle of the night it may not be so obvious.
Nightmares vs Night Terrors and What To Do!
Both nightmares and night terrors can be scary things for children and parents alike, knowing the differences and knowing how you can support your child through them is key to getting sleep back to a great place.
The first important thing to do is to be able to distinguish between a night terror and a nightmare as they are two very different things but in the middle of the night it may not be so obvious.
Nightmares
Nightmares are vivid and disturbing dreams that evoke fear, anxiety, or other strong emotions. They typically occur during the rapid eye movement (REM) stage of sleep, which is when most dreaming takes place. Nightmares are a common experience for people of all ages and are often a result of stress, anxiety, trauma, or other emotional factors.
What to Do:
Pre- Bedtime: Avoid screen time for an hour before bedtime and ensure during the day that there is no scary/upsetting things being consumed. Giving time to chat about any worries or fears in a relaxed environment.
Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine: Establishing a calming pre-sleep routine can help reduce anxiety and promote restful sleep. Using the Bedtime Routine Activity Poster creates a bedtime routine that is consistent and that a child feels in control of. Reading books about positive sleep at bedtime helps to gain back confidence around sleep for your child - you can find some suggestions here on my Instagram page.
Address Underlying Issues: If nightmares persist, it may be helpful to explore and address any underlying fears or concerns that your child is having - doing this during the day can give your child the time and space to process what they may be scared, nervous or worried about.
Night Terrors
Night terrors, on the other hand, are episodes of intense fear, panic, or terror that occur during non-REM sleep. Unlike nightmares, night terrors are not dreams, and children experiencing them may appear to be in a state of partial arousal - it appears like your child is looking right through you. Night terrors are more common in boys and can start from the age of 3.
What to Do:
Stay Calm: If you witness your child experiencing a night terror, it's important to remain calm. Night terrors are usually more frightening for parents than for the child experiencing them. It is important not to wake your child from the night terror as this will only disturb the cycle of the night terror causing the night terror to restart when your child returns to sleep.
Create a Safe Environment: While the night terror runs its course you can be present to ensure your child is safe in their cot/bed and tuck them in when the night terror ends.
Establish a Consistent Sleep Routine: Regular sleep patterns and a consistent bedtime routine can help reduce the likelihood of night terrors. Over tiredness is the biggest contributor to night terrors so if your child is experiencing night terrors bring bedtime earlier and ensure good quality sleep is being had.
If you have any questions drop me an email!
Amy 😊
If your little one uses a soother and is sleeping great...happy days!! A soother can be a really great sleep tool and if it works there is not need to do anything!
If on the other hand your little one uses a soother and they are finding it difficult to get to sleep and stay asleep - those night wakes and short naps in particular - then it might be the time to look and removing the soother as if it is not supporting great sleep then it is interrupting it.
Do you need to drop the soother and how to do it!
If your little one uses a soother and is sleeping great...happy days!! A soother can be a really great sleep tool and if it works there is not need to do anything! If on the other hand your little one uses a soother and they are finding it difficult to get to sleep and stay asleep - those night wakes and short naps in particular - then it might be the time to look and removing the soother as if it is not supporting great sleep then it is interrupting it.
If you child is under 8/9 months and is unable to replace the soother in their mouth themselves and requires your support to do so and help them return to sleep this is causing a disturbance to their sleep (and yours!) - it might be time to make a change. Another reason you may be looking to get rid of the soother is your child is getting older and you feel it is time, with older children there is lots of ways to make this transition so keep reading!
Dropping the soother under 18 months
While it can seem like a huge change for little ones the easiest and kindest way to get rid of the soother for younger babies is to go cold turkey - let me explain!
A younger baby does not have the emotional intelligence to understand trades or rewards for changes in behaviours and so if the soother is coming and going at different times they don't know what is going on or what to expect - so the fairest things to do is make a change and be consistent.
There are other things you can do to support your little one in this transition, start at nap time and do naps on the go, pram/car, to give them a chance to fall asleep without the soother. You can support them to sleep by being present, giving physical support to sleep - I promise in only a few days they won't miss it at all!
Dropping the soother over 18 months
Anywhere from 18-20 months we can reason (a bit!) more with children and we can explain things so that they know what changes to expect - preparation is key to getting everyone on the same page. That's not to say I am expecting them to hand over the soother and pop off to bed one night and never mention it again (hey you could get lucky!) but suddenly changing something out of the blue at bedtime isn't fair on anyone.
In preparation I would give a child a few days notice as to what's coming - "at the weekend we will be giving your dodie's to the dodie fairy because you are so grown up that you need something even more special" - how you frame this is really important. If all we do is talk about getting rid of the soother and what they are going to loose that will be the focus - instead you want to focus on what they will gain. Tell your child how grown up they are and how they are just so special.
Options for making the transition are giving the soother to the "dodie fairy" - some parks have special trees in them for this - where you go on a treasure hunt around the house to make sure you find all soothers and you bring them to the "dodo fairy" and that day you might go and pick out a special teddy, or cushion for your child to take to bed - they get to trade their soother for something special. Or you may say that the "dodge fairy" is going to bring a present that night.
Another option can be doing the treasure hunt as above and giving them away for little babies that might need them. The important thing is to get them all out of the house so that the option is taken away (for you as much as your child!!).
You may need to give some additional support for a couple of nights while this transition is made but don't underestimate your child...they are more capable that you can imagine!
Fill you child with praise - even if they have found it hard tell them how wonderful they have done in the morning and point out that they did it...it will get easier in a matter of days and if the soother has been interrupting sleep then the added benefit of consistent and better quality sleep will be so worth it!
The Bedtime Routine Activity Poster can be a great way to create a new bedtime routine and give that sense of control when making changes like dropping the soother, download and it and let me know how you get on.
If you have any questions drop me an email!
Amy 😊